Triumphant
by Your Favorite Worst Dream
Summary: Jasper, Emmett, and arm wrestling. Who will come out alive…or, still undead? Oneshot.


**When I thought of this, I just couldn't resist. Beware; this might make your IQ drop a few points…**

**Disclaimer: I may not own the characters of **_**Twilight**_**, but I sure can put them in awkward situations.**

Triumphant

This was it; the most arduous obstacle that Emmett had ever been faced with. The current situation surpassed any other opposition he had experienced, more difficult than playing poker with Edward or chess with Alice. With those, he _knew_ that he was going to lose, but with _this_… this was entirely up to chance.

To the great dismay of the family, Emmett and Jasper had been arm wrestling for sixty eight hours straight.

It was Emmett's brute and unrestrained strength against Jasper's never ending attacks of alternating weariness, hunger, and the ever growing need to jump out the window. Emmett supposed this was coming from Edward, who was at the point of tearing out his hair of hearing nothing but _I'm _so _going to win_ and _Ha! I think his arm just moved down some! This is all mine…_ from the thoughts of his brothers.

Emmett would have been surprised to know that it was actually coming from Esme, do to the fact that every hour or so, their elbows would dig more and more slightly into the now breaking glass of her antique coffee table. She had found it years ago at an auction; it belonged to Marie Antoinette when she was queen of France and was beyond priceless. Every time she tried to get them to move, they'd start saying, "Don't worry Mom, I'll whoop his ass any moment now," but after fifty three hours of it, she stopped believing them.

Just now, at sixty eight hours, twelve minutes, and forty nine seconds, Alice came waltzing in, twirling the keys to her Porsche around her lithe fingers so fast they were blurs. Jasper allowed his eyes to flicker over to his wife momentarily, silently asking how the outcome would be, but she only shrugged her shoulders and spread her hands out as if to say, "I can't be expected to know _everything_, can I?"

And so it continued on…

In the afternoon, three hours, forty seven minutes and eleven seconds later, or the third day mark, Edward came flying down the stairs shouting, "I can't take it anymore! I'm going to Bella's house, Charlie's grounding be damned! I'd rather be awkwardly watching baseball and listening to his murderous thoughts than staying here a moment longer! At least he's _sane_!" before slamming the door.

His freedom was short lived though, because after he had regaled his brothers' stupidity to Bella, she insisted on coming over to his house and watching. Upon seeing the stony silence and strain of Emmett and Jasper, she sank down into a nearby sofa with Alice on one side and Edward on the other with a shocked and awed expression on her face.

Carlisle came home to find his family, plus Bella, staring raptly at the two men. Not knowing what else to do, he shrugged his shoulders, hung his coat on the rack, and sat down beside his wife without a word.

The sky gradually darkened as they remained at a stalemate. Edward was trying to convince Bella that it's late and she really ought to go home because this could last hours, even _days_, more, but she refused and continued watching through drooping eyelids.

Before he could start another argument, he heard Alice mentally gasp. She had apparently just had a vision as to the outcome, but when Edward listened in, he had to quickly backtrack because Alice was thinking of Jasper in ways Edward never _ever_ wanted to.

When Jasper felt the unexpected waves of lust rolling off Alice, he knew what to do. Edward was once again surprised by the sudden explicit images surfacing in Jasper's mind. He closed his eyes and tried to erase the painful visualization that came so suddenly, but, sadly, it was too late. _That's my _sister_, what is he _doing_ to her?_ was all his scarred mind could think.

Jasper focused and channeled the passion to two people in the room; Emmett and Rosalie.

It hit Emmett like a brick wall. Well, since that wouldn't really do any _real _damage to him, it hit him like a _vampire_ brick wall. He couldn't stop his eyes from straying to his wife, and how she stared right back, licking her lips. Emmett's eyes widened as he saw her undoing the top button of her silk blouse and re-crossing her long, _long_ legs.

Edward now had his hands on either side of his head, trying to block out the sudden _wants_. He was unknowingly rocking back and forth as he drew his legs up in front of him.

To Emmett's credit, he _did_ last much longer than he had expected to; nine minutes. His eyes had been rapidly looking from Rosalie to his and Jasper's locked hands, back and forth, before he yelled, "Fine!" and let Jasper pin his arm to the table, shattering the glass to Esme's heartbreak. In a flash, Emmett was carrying Rosalie up the stairs, leaving clothing in their wake.

"Yes!" cried Jasper, pumping his fists in the air and jumping on top of the coffee table's frame. "I am the _champion_!" He picked up a giggling Alice and started twirling her around, placing kisses all over her face. "I am _triumphant_! Numero Uno! I came, I saw, I _conquered_!" he continued shouting as he started up the stairs, three at a time, dragging Alice behind him.

"Bye Bella!" the pixie waved when Edward had put his arm around her and was now propelling her to the door, quickly muttering something about how they definitely do _not_ want to be in the house now and he's staying with her tonight.

000

The next day, they were all spread out in the family room with their respective partners watching a movie when Emmett turned to face Jasper.

"Best two out of three?"


End file.
